


Something New

by ilcuoreardendo



Series: Another Space and Time (Star Wars fics) [22]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hugs, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, Making Up, Not Canon Compliant, POV Obi-Wan Kenobi, Qui-Gon Lives, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 08:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16323053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilcuoreardendo/pseuds/ilcuoreardendo
Summary: Did you ever want me at all, Qui-Gon?





	Something New

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous requested #11 from [**this prompt list**](http://ilcuoreardendo-fic.tumblr.com/post/178656438523/fictional-kiss-prompts).

* * *

Standing near the window of the transport, Obi-Wan could see the Jedi Temple rising from the glowing streets of Coruscant. The last rays of sunlight set the walls alight, the stones glowing as if on fire.

He wondered what Qui-Gon was doing. How Anakin was adjusting.

There had been letters and holocalls. Few and far between.They had stayed away from the topic of Naboo, Qui-Gon’s near death, the impressive row they had upon their return to Coruscant….

They had delivered Anakin to the crèche with his year mates and neither Qui-Gon nor Obi-Wan were scheduled for anything for the next several days. Obi-Wan used the downtime to get started clearing his things from the rooms he shared with his master. Qui-Gon had wondered in, made an offhand comment about missing Obi-Wan, which shattered the tense truce that had kept them civil since his master woke up in the med center on Naboo. Obi-Wan, not proudly, took shots at everything from Bandomeer to Qui-Gon offloading him in front of the Council.

_Did you ever want me at all?_

It was the last thing he said. Flushed and embarrassed by his lack of self-control, he’d grabbed his belongings and fled, without waiting for an answer, unable to look at Qui-Gon’s face. He didn’t want to see the disappointment or the contempt.

He wasn’t a month into his mission when the letter arrived.

_I always wanted you._

_As an Initiate, you were bright and dedicated. You shone with the Force. It very nearly hurt to look at you, knowing I could not be the master you deserved. No, I thought, better to send you to Bandomeer than taint you, than risk that passion of yours becoming a twisted thing in my possession._

_It was never you, Obi-Wan._

_Let me say that again: it was never you._

_The mistakes were mine, then and now. It seems I don’t learn lessons quickly or easily, as you’ve often surmised._

_I wanted you._

_And I want you._

_I am sorry, Obi-Wan._

It takes days for Obi-Wan to decide what to write. In the end, it was merely two words.

 _I accept_.

Accept the apologies, the regret, and the hurts. He accepted all of it. The Jedi Way. To accept and let go. To make room for something new.

Maybe something more, by the turn their letters had taken.

He felt Qui-Gon before he saw him, even though he stood nearly a head above most of the crowd moving through the docks and with the hood of his robe pulled up, he was unmistakable. The bond that had not been severed upon Obi-Wan’s Knighting lay bare to Obi-Wan. The things he had felt, soft and muted with distance while he was off planet, surged like the sea. Warmth and affection, regret and guilt, fascination, attraction.

His long stride never broke as he reached Qui-Gon, took his arm, steered him toward a small alcove away from prying eyes and kissed him.

He felt Qui-Gon’s breath catch, felt his master’s fingers graze his cheek, the soft beard he’d been growing out, felt the kiss returned even as Qui-Gon dropped his hand to Obi-Wan’s shoulder and pulled away.

“I’m sorry. Are you sure you—“

Obi-Wan swallowed the rest of the words as he caught his master’s mouth again.

 _Give me this_ , he thought. _I need this moment. Before we do what we always do and stumble headlong into a verbal briar thicket._

He felt Qui-Gon soften. Warmth infused their bond as his master’s arms came around him.

Eventually, Obi-Wan broke the kiss, leaned his forehead against Qui-Gon’s chin and breathed out shakily. All moments pass.

“Are you ready?” Qui-Gon murmured the words against his forehead.

Obi-Wan gave a short nod. “Let’s go.”

He shouldered his bag as Qui-Gon led the way through the crowd, his hand flat on the middle of Obi-Wan’s back, hot, even through the layers of robe and tunics, and his eyes catching Obi-Wan’s gaze now and then, lit up by his smile, slight and crooked.

Yes. It was time for something new.


End file.
